Yeah, I’m a vegetarian, so what?
I’m not trying to be current or cool
Or scared of the new order vegan rule
It’s just, I no longer crave the taste of meat.
I’ve said all of my goodbyes
To lamb chops, chicken curry and pork pies
Whilst I’ve been through many detox sessions and rehabs
Battling against addiction to eating too many mixed meat kebabs.
I’ve shed a pound or two
Which should give you a clue
That eating so much animal flesh
Might not be that good for you.
My body is happier now that it’s adapted to Quorn
If you’ve not tried it, don’t offer me scorn
Whilst Linda McCartney’s passing was sad
I’ve got to say, her veggie sausages aren’t bad.
I get annoyed by salad and a foray of leaf
For it always gets deposited on the dark recess of my teeth
Forcing me to appear like a gap-tooth fail
Another reason why I dislike kale.
These words are not intended to change
Your primary instincts and emotions
Which I know to flow animalistically
Whenever a vegetarian menu is in range.
Should your curiosity peak attention
About my acceptance for vegetation
In substitution of a meat plate station
I can assist with advising on a food rotation.
Fear not though, I’m not one to preach
Yet, I’m happy to share with you some advice
Should you be inclined to try vegan cheese?
Reconsider, it’s not bloody nice.